Government confiscates packed lunch, gives chicken nuggets instead

State agent inspects sack lunches, forces preschoolers to purchase cafeteria food instead.

Tests Axed to Unburden Students

In more news from The Onion, somehow diverted to The Miami Herald…

Final and midterm exams are now “optional” in Miami-Dade County, Florida, the change made as “an attempt to ease the burden on students.”

Foreign Accent Syndrome

Straight from The Onion, inadvertantly posted on Fox News.